I have never married because I haven't met the right lady - I still hope to! Most of the women around here, who are within even 20 years of my age, have been married and divorced at least once. It usually does come down to this issue. They balk at the idea of having their prior marriage/s annulled by the Church and the teaching of marriage for life to one person. It doesn't bother me if a woman has lived with a boyfriend before, so long as her attitudes and beliefs have matured beyond that point. But, I believe in marriage as a sacrament.... and that seems to be extremely off-putting to most women these days.
I thank you for the last paragraph. However, I do think the Church do a much better job of siding with victims of abuse and protecting them. Women in particular, although it can be true men, are usually still told by priests and other church counselors to basically put up and shut up. Pray for your abuser and continue to live with Folks don't realize that an abuser is a killer. Not so much a killer of the body although that does happen. They are killers of a person's very being, of one's soul and spirit, of one's idenity! Many think I am laying it on too thick, but I am not! No one should be told to remain with an abuser! It is a death sentence!
Kathleen, there is no doubt that we all could do better. I would never counsel anyone to remain with someone who is either physically or emotionally abusive. If someone is in danger they must be helped to safety. It is likely that if someone is abusive they did not take their vows seriously or there is some emotional defect. But, the time to sort that out is after the spouse and the family are safe. You are not laying it on thick. I have seen families caught in some very scary abuse situations.
I know you wouldn't, and I didn't mean to come across that way. I meant it as a general comment about our leaders who just don't seem to get it! I know several women who no longer attend Mass not because they have disagreements with the Church. They just don't feel understood or wanted. I think our bishops and priests should always be clearer that there are exceptions. Guilt tactics are common with abusers, and I think in sermons we need to be very clear about things. Otherwise for the victim it often feels as though they are being abused again by the very folks who should be offering them protection.
I have never married because I haven't met the right lady - I still hope to! Most of the women around here, who are within even 20 years of my age, have been married and divorced at least once. It usually does come down to this issue. They balk at the idea of having their prior marriage/s annulled by the Church and the teaching of marriage for life to one person. It doesn't bother me if a woman has lived with a boyfriend before, so long as her attitudes and beliefs have matured beyond that point. But, I believe in marriage as a sacrament.... and that seems to be extremely off-putting to most women these days.
You are in my prayers! It isn’t easy I know. My children tell me the same thing. Commitment in the world is tremendously off-putting.
I thank you for the last paragraph. However, I do think the Church do a much better job of siding with victims of abuse and protecting them. Women in particular, although it can be true men, are usually still told by priests and other church counselors to basically put up and shut up. Pray for your abuser and continue to live with Folks don't realize that an abuser is a killer. Not so much a killer of the body although that does happen. They are killers of a person's very being, of one's soul and spirit, of one's idenity! Many think I am laying it on too thick, but I am not! No one should be told to remain with an abuser! It is a death sentence!
Kathleen, there is no doubt that we all could do better. I would never counsel anyone to remain with someone who is either physically or emotionally abusive. If someone is in danger they must be helped to safety. It is likely that if someone is abusive they did not take their vows seriously or there is some emotional defect. But, the time to sort that out is after the spouse and the family are safe. You are not laying it on thick. I have seen families caught in some very scary abuse situations.
I know you wouldn't, and I didn't mean to come across that way. I meant it as a general comment about our leaders who just don't seem to get it! I know several women who no longer attend Mass not because they have disagreements with the Church. They just don't feel understood or wanted. I think our bishops and priests should always be clearer that there are exceptions. Guilt tactics are common with abusers, and I think in sermons we need to be very clear about things. Otherwise for the victim it often feels as though they are being abused again by the very folks who should be offering them protection.