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Missio Dei
Toxic Positivity

Toxic Positivity

A Tactic of the Oppressor

Fr. Chris Pietraszko's avatar
Fr. Chris Pietraszko
Jul 12, 2022
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Missio Dei
Missio Dei
Toxic Positivity
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Most managers and leaders put 10 percent of their energy into selling the problem and 90 percent into selling the solution to the problem. People aren’t in the market for solutions to problems they don’t see, acknowledge, and understand. They might even come up with a better solution than yours, and then you won’t have to sell it-it will be theirs.

  • William Bridges, Managing Transitions: Making the most of Change

If someone told you about the resilience of a flower that grew in a desert, you might begin to be inspired by such a strenuous process of growth and endurance. It is an amazing thing that such flowers could bloom in such a place. But in that emphasis we might lose sight of the fact that this actually isn’t good news. The flower that blooms in the desert is bound to suffer, struggle, and face an untimely end, much like those seeds planted on rocky ground, having no root. Its that sickly sweet talk that seems to ask us to embrace the rocky path, as though it were fertile ground, good for planting. When we do not admit of a problem when we ought to, we enter into an enabling type of cheerleading often called "happy talk.” Today in the Church it often misuses the term good-news. Such good news typically focuses on accidental realities in the Church that cover up (or put a mask on) the rot and areas where God’s judgment zealously appeals to us requesting repentance. No body likes a cynic - but asking for repentance is the opposite of a cynic. Its a person who believes the problem can be addressed - and thus predicates itself always on hope. Calling the Church and world to repentance therefore is always rooted in hope, rather than enabling or despair. If things are considered “good just the way they are” in this life - then we are always lying to ourselves.

When we feel as though we are in a futile state, we might be tempted to think our circumstances are insurmountable, or we may even prefer to think this so that sacrifice and changing our vision do not occur. Therefore we look for the silver lining as a vague sentiment of “some good exists.” We do not want to till the ground, we do not want to admit that what we were doing is unhelpful - a rocky path of our own making that we try to justify. So we make it sound as though it were something good. Perhaps we are like the captors of Babylon, who want the Israelites to be happy so they won’t feel guilty about their oppressive tendencies? Perhaps it has to do with the people who surround us; who filter our perception of reality. Leaders for that reason need prophets to listen to, not hired hands, or those seeking power. Fernando de Osuna says in his classic literature on Third Spiritual Alphabet, that a superior (to whom in small and big ways, the kings and queens of baptism participate) that acquiescing from our responsibilities in addressing problems is a significant temptation. If we give authority to one, something that God has ordained to be given to us, then the fruits will not appear. The illusion sets in that its not our fault that things are failing, because its up to everyone else whom such authority has been delegated. But it isn’t real delegation, it isn’t collegiality, it isn’t team-work, or even relying on the gifts of others - its acquiescence. In such a case, we become cheerleaders of everyone else, abstractly connected with the good of the world and Church, and find ourselves disconnected relationally, and practically from the real problems that exist on a spiritual level. And this last part is what we want to mask, because fear naturally creeps in when we realize the weight of our call.

This happy talk can involve an insistence upon being joyful and happy in a manner that turns the stomach of those who are subjects to such voices. It is a violent statement against the affect of those individuals who suffer the rot within the world or Church - like an abusive husband who tells his wife to be happier. This request is often unconsciously cemented to insulate one from a conscience becoming pricked. In a number of TV Shows, I have seen this displayed at times in the stream of chauvinism whereby men expect women to smile, without much care, empathy, or listening as to why they might not be smiling. Its an odd thing, but a sign that we are not in tune with reality. Reality has dark and bright graces, it has tears and joy.

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