Do I Really Need To Go To Confession?

Speaking our shame out loud isn’t easy

Created by Dave DuBay with leonardo.ai

Maybe no Christian belief is more offensive than sin. How dare you accuse me? I’m a good person! 

Most of us trust ourselves to live a good life. The Divine Mercy Chaplet, however, has us repeat the phrase, “Jesus, I trust in you.” Sin begins with a lack of trust in God, deciding to do things our way, and turns to self-justification when things get turned around.

We’ve all heard that the name Satan literally means “accuser.” Finger pointing is common in politics, at church, at work, and at home. But most of all, people blame God for a world filled with suffering. Some say God can’t be good or all powerful if evil exists. Atheists go so far as to say that humanity created God in its image: He’s a defense against our fear of death, a childish need for a father figure (Sigmund Freud), a concept to measure our pain (John Lennon), or a narrative used to justify power and oppression (postmodernism and critical theory). 

Accusing others, of course, is a claim to moral superiority coupled with a denial of personal responsibility. But while Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent, Jesus offered no defense when standing before the Sanhedrin and Pontius Pilate. The man without sin also refrained from accusations, instead forgiving those who tortured and killed Him. 

It’s so easy to sin, though. We might wonder, why even try to be good if God’s grace alone is enough? But that’s like asking why we have to be good to our friends when we know they’ll forgive any slights. We’re good to our friends because we love them and want the best for them. And if we love God, we try not to offend Him and instead desire to be closer to Him. 

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The Catholic Church distinguishes between venial and mortal sins, between smaller and bigger sins. This goes back to Christianity’s earliest days. In 1 John 5:16-17 the apostle writes that, “There is such a thing as deadly sin… All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church (1857) states that mortal sin involves a grave matter (such as a violation of the ten commandments), is intentional, and is done with deliberate consent. Beyond wounding “the charity in the heart of man,” mortal sin destroys this charity (1855).

However, even things that might seem minor, like skipping Mass to go to the beach, are considered mortal sins. The beach, in this case, is an idol that we’re putting before God. But perhaps we shouldn’t focus too much on the dividing line between venial and mortal sin. We might start to play a game of chicken to see how close we can get to the line without actually crossing it (hint: we’ll cross it).

All deliberate sin is a rejection of God’s grace—and that’s what we should keep in mind. The Hebrew word khata means to miss the mark. The English words sin and sunder share a common root that refers to separating things from each other. As Catholics, we ask of the Virgin Mary, “ora pro nobis peccatoribus”—to pray for us sinners. If we are impeccable then we are without stain, which doesn’t describe anyone except Jesus and His mother. But peccatum is related to the word for foot (pedites). You can picture someone stumbling.

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Bad aim. Stumbling. Being stained. Separation. Rejection. These describe sin but fail to capture the full gravity of the eternal consequences of rupturing our relationship with God. Yet, the Reformation jettisoned the confessional. Many Christians say they only confess directly to God. But James 5:16 says to “confess your sins to one another.” And in John 20:23, Jesus tells His apostles that, “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” (see also Matthew 18:18). 

God can forgive sins even if someone doesn’t go to confession—He alone knows our hearts—but how repentant are we really if we refuse the sacrament of reconciliation? Yet, going to confession isn’t easy. It’s embarrassing to speak our shame out loud. But it’s also freeing. Maybe that’s why Alcoholic Anonymous has group confession. And it’s often suggested that our culture’s penchant for psychotherapy serves a similar function. But none of these offer absolution.