“It’s your obligation to speak the truth, and everyone can either take it or leave it. But the truth must be in us. We live in such a poverty of truth today.” (Mother Angelica) Religious communities are responsible for providing those who enter the convent with spiritual formation that leads them to become closer to God, and to live authentically the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. But too often this is not the case in religious life, and women who enter the convent to offer their lives to God and His Church are instead faced with emotional, psychological, spiritual, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse by formators and superiors. Unjust and irrational obedience becomes the instrument that some religious communities utilize to enforce power and control
Thank you for this very well written, and important piece. More light, Lord, more light!
There is such a significant need for healing in our Church and world today. So many people have been told a lie about themselves, especially through the behavior of others. Lord shine a light on sin, but also on your love for victims of any sin.
Thank you for continuing to write about this, Christina. I think that everyone in general (especially young people with less life experience and who haven't made solemn vows yet) should have awareness of signs of abuse and how to recognize if/when it is happening to them, as well as receive social empowerment to walk away. Much of this is learned (or not) in the family setting, but it would be helpful for Church leaders to reinforce this. Your writing is helpful in this area because it lets readers know what shouldn't be acceptable.
Christina, thank you for your great courage and for writing this. I feel your pain and that of the other women you mentioned, literally, because I have experienced much the same in a men’s clerical religious community. I’m struggling to get to an emotionally healthy place where I can speak out, but now I am battling severe anxiety, depression and suicidality.
Jesus and Mary are with me and grace is everywhere , so I am able to persevere. It helps that I can distinguish between the Church and the men in it—they are not the Church. Christ is the Church.
I thank God that you and others are speaking the truth and pray that I may soon add my voice. The evil must end.
Try living the consequences of being abused like for the rest of your life because that what you do once you leave the convent the pain and suffering never go away that’s why many nuns leave thier faith it not they lost faith they are in constant mental psychological and spiritual agony. Most perpetrators get away with it too.
Thank you Christina for yet another article that sheds light on this problem. I can only speak to the congregations I personally have knowledge of within the CMSWR: The abuse is going to continue up to and until the CMSWR acknowledges that formation programs within many of their communities need desperate reform. You can't fix a problem if you won't admit there is a problem. Here is just one example of religious communities as well as our hierarchy being tone deaf: I know a group of women who left one particular community and wrote letters to the bishop of the diocese where the monastery resides, as well as to their former superiors. The congregation in question threatened them the bishop brushed them off. Instead of inviting dialogue, they were silenced. As I type the CMSWR is having their Formaters workshop and I think this article should be read to them during the meeting or at least someone should link this article on their social media! And while it is quite true that not everyone who sets foot in a convent has a vocation to religious life, a 50% attrition rate is actually quite ghastly! Formators are often poorly trained and often have multiple functions within the community. A novice mistress should not also be a member of the council especially if a young woman would like to petition the council about the novice mistress! At the very least, formators should have a master's degree in psychology. It seems too often that the novice mistress, instead of guiding young women in fostering virtue, are instead looking for anything and everything that they can possibly find fault with to force them out. There are countless stories of women who are emotionally sound upon entering who come out basically like basket cases upon leaving. Something has got to give! Our Lady weeps! There has to be someone whom the CMSWR will listen to. All that said, I would like to believe that for the most part the formators believe they are doing right by the young women as well as the congregation, but someone really needs to wake them up. And soon.
Wow, I spent 2 years in the convent, and it was the most wonderful time of my life! I had no idea abuse was going on! I am so sorry you had to experience this!
Well, I know myself well enough to know I can be over sensitive. That comes from abusive treatment. Its an area where I need more healing. Hope's Garden is helping me there. Abuse is rampant in our society, and has been since the 19th century and longer. I believe it is the major and very hidden sin/cause of all of society's problems, needs and other sins. Why do I say that? Because when Jesus was asked what is the greatest sin and the remedy, He answered the failure to love, and the remedy is to " love God with all our heart, mind, and will, and to love our neighbor as ourselves"! In another place, He said " what you do to the least of my brethern you do to me". In other words abuse and "lording it over another" is the opposite of love. Its not just unkind. Its the total opposite! Therefore since God IS love, He is totally absent in the abuse. However, God is totally present in the one abuse! God is forever and always in us!
This is what another survivor from my order reported this happened when she was a minor “Hey, I was held hostage by them 23 years ago in Connecticut when I was invited to go on a retreat before going off to school in Europe. I was a devout Catholic, but had no intention of becoming a nun. I was 17 years old. She tricked me into believing it would just be a safe way for me to see the East Coast. It was maybe a month or week before 09/11/2001. Theresa held me longer than the week I was supposed to be there, kept canceling my flight and would come into my room every night telling me that no man would ever want me and I am not marriage material. She would badger me about the littletist things, complain my skirts were too short, withold food, would not allow me to read, no air condition except for in Church. There was an Italian girl visiting who was allowed to do what she wanted and Theresa would constantly compare me to her. My mother finally threatened to call the police and I think Theresa took me to my new scheduled flight. I completely forgot about it and was able to attend the school I was supposed to in France a few months later. I think it was a few weeks before 09/11 when this all happened and I often wonder if she had kept me longer, if I would have ended up on one of the planes. I just found out how this has all come to light. I just googled it to see if this order still existed. I completely blocked that negative experience out of my life.”
If religious communities are responsible for providing those who enter the convent with spiritual formation that leads them to become closer to God, and to live authentically the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience: what about the rest of us? How do those of us who do not enter religious communities become closer to God? Are we at a disadvantage?
I believe that the approach which produces this kind of exclusivity, of itself, is a hindrance to becoming closer to God even apart from any abuses that occur in religious communities. Closeness to God comes from being humble towards Him (cf. 1Peter 5:5-7; James 4:6-10). This can be done by anyone who chooses to do so regardless of any formal religious life. Any spiritual formation that does not recognize this becomes a hindrance.
Thank you for this very well written, and important piece. More light, Lord, more light!
There is such a significant need for healing in our Church and world today. So many people have been told a lie about themselves, especially through the behavior of others. Lord shine a light on sin, but also on your love for victims of any sin.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for continuing to write about this, Christina. I think that everyone in general (especially young people with less life experience and who haven't made solemn vows yet) should have awareness of signs of abuse and how to recognize if/when it is happening to them, as well as receive social empowerment to walk away. Much of this is learned (or not) in the family setting, but it would be helpful for Church leaders to reinforce this. Your writing is helpful in this area because it lets readers know what shouldn't be acceptable.
Christina, thank you for your great courage and for writing this. I feel your pain and that of the other women you mentioned, literally, because I have experienced much the same in a men’s clerical religious community. I’m struggling to get to an emotionally healthy place where I can speak out, but now I am battling severe anxiety, depression and suicidality.
Jesus and Mary are with me and grace is everywhere , so I am able to persevere. It helps that I can distinguish between the Church and the men in it—they are not the Church. Christ is the Church.
I thank God that you and others are speaking the truth and pray that I may soon add my voice. The evil must end.
Try living the consequences of being abused like for the rest of your life because that what you do once you leave the convent the pain and suffering never go away that’s why many nuns leave thier faith it not they lost faith they are in constant mental psychological and spiritual agony. Most perpetrators get away with it too.
Thank you Christina for yet another article that sheds light on this problem. I can only speak to the congregations I personally have knowledge of within the CMSWR: The abuse is going to continue up to and until the CMSWR acknowledges that formation programs within many of their communities need desperate reform. You can't fix a problem if you won't admit there is a problem. Here is just one example of religious communities as well as our hierarchy being tone deaf: I know a group of women who left one particular community and wrote letters to the bishop of the diocese where the monastery resides, as well as to their former superiors. The congregation in question threatened them the bishop brushed them off. Instead of inviting dialogue, they were silenced. As I type the CMSWR is having their Formaters workshop and I think this article should be read to them during the meeting or at least someone should link this article on their social media! And while it is quite true that not everyone who sets foot in a convent has a vocation to religious life, a 50% attrition rate is actually quite ghastly! Formators are often poorly trained and often have multiple functions within the community. A novice mistress should not also be a member of the council especially if a young woman would like to petition the council about the novice mistress! At the very least, formators should have a master's degree in psychology. It seems too often that the novice mistress, instead of guiding young women in fostering virtue, are instead looking for anything and everything that they can possibly find fault with to force them out. There are countless stories of women who are emotionally sound upon entering who come out basically like basket cases upon leaving. Something has got to give! Our Lady weeps! There has to be someone whom the CMSWR will listen to. All that said, I would like to believe that for the most part the formators believe they are doing right by the young women as well as the congregation, but someone really needs to wake them up. And soon.
Wow, I spent 2 years in the convent, and it was the most wonderful time of my life! I had no idea abuse was going on! I am so sorry you had to experience this!
Yes I lost count too
Well, I know myself well enough to know I can be over sensitive. That comes from abusive treatment. Its an area where I need more healing. Hope's Garden is helping me there. Abuse is rampant in our society, and has been since the 19th century and longer. I believe it is the major and very hidden sin/cause of all of society's problems, needs and other sins. Why do I say that? Because when Jesus was asked what is the greatest sin and the remedy, He answered the failure to love, and the remedy is to " love God with all our heart, mind, and will, and to love our neighbor as ourselves"! In another place, He said " what you do to the least of my brethern you do to me". In other words abuse and "lording it over another" is the opposite of love. Its not just unkind. Its the total opposite! Therefore since God IS love, He is totally absent in the abuse. However, God is totally present in the one abuse! God is forever and always in us!
This is what another survivor from my order reported this happened when she was a minor “Hey, I was held hostage by them 23 years ago in Connecticut when I was invited to go on a retreat before going off to school in Europe. I was a devout Catholic, but had no intention of becoming a nun. I was 17 years old. She tricked me into believing it would just be a safe way for me to see the East Coast. It was maybe a month or week before 09/11/2001. Theresa held me longer than the week I was supposed to be there, kept canceling my flight and would come into my room every night telling me that no man would ever want me and I am not marriage material. She would badger me about the littletist things, complain my skirts were too short, withold food, would not allow me to read, no air condition except for in Church. There was an Italian girl visiting who was allowed to do what she wanted and Theresa would constantly compare me to her. My mother finally threatened to call the police and I think Theresa took me to my new scheduled flight. I completely forgot about it and was able to attend the school I was supposed to in France a few months later. I think it was a few weeks before 09/11 when this all happened and I often wonder if she had kept me longer, if I would have ended up on one of the planes. I just found out how this has all come to light. I just googled it to see if this order still existed. I completely blocked that negative experience out of my life.”
If religious communities are responsible for providing those who enter the convent with spiritual formation that leads them to become closer to God, and to live authentically the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience: what about the rest of us? How do those of us who do not enter religious communities become closer to God? Are we at a disadvantage?
I believe that the approach which produces this kind of exclusivity, of itself, is a hindrance to becoming closer to God even apart from any abuses that occur in religious communities. Closeness to God comes from being humble towards Him (cf. 1Peter 5:5-7; James 4:6-10). This can be done by anyone who chooses to do so regardless of any formal religious life. Any spiritual formation that does not recognize this becomes a hindrance.