the unraveling 

I step inside

the cold

stone

church.

each step

an echo

one.

two.

one.

two. 

one. 

two. 

this place is scary

it’s too dark

I feel things

I haven’t allowed myself

to feel before.

My eyes dance

to the stained glass

painting the room

in sorrowful colors.

that man

he gave

everything- 

everything I’m 

trying to hold-

so that

he could hold me.

how

with all these

transgressions

could he hold me?

My nose stings.

frankincense.

for the King of Kings

and lowliest of shepherds.

I’m not the first one

who’s been 

betrayed by a kiss.

who’s experienced death

waited for resurrection.

My ears ring

but I don’t hear bells

this is the

silence screaming-

you shouldn’t be here

you don’t deserve this

you’re just bandaging 

a broken heart.

I know who I am.

I know who I serve.

that man

who gave everything-

everything I try and hold-

he will catch me 

if I fall

but if I fly

he’ll fly with me.

My knees slam 

to the cold

stone

floor.

each word an echo. 

Pater

noster 

qui es in coelis

this place is dark.

it’s eerie.

my feelings

uncensored. 

I’m crying?

this place is beautiful.

it’s vulnerable. 

my soul

unraveling.