Idealism as a Problem
One of the dangers in the spiritual life is to forget that as creatures we are complicated. Often, there is a certain type of personality that is inclined toward perfectionism, idealism, and resists a theological, ethical, and cosmological explanation that involves a heavy amount of nuance. Idealism seeks to simplify matters, but often to the point of over-simplification.
One of the reasons we cannot “judge” the interior movement of the heart, is because of man’s interior complexity. We rarely have a deep enough degree of self-knowledge to be able to judge ourselves, as St. Paul even says of himself. But there is a temptation, especially amongst a certain personality type to be attached to simplicity. Simplicity makes things clear, and offers a roadmap that often involves a straight line toward one’s destination. It does not admit of valleys, mountains, rivers, construction, detours, storms, and a deflated tire. Idealism does not factor in the complexity of man’s own circumstances, his own interior wants, needs, and identity, and it rarely considers the on-going process.
Rarely is there any patience in such a person for those whose faith is weak. And that lack of patience often is not only directed towards others, but also toward themselves. Its a type of “black-and-white” approach to purity - a person is either all in, or not in at all. Don’t get me wrong, I fully affirm Jesus’ teaching that we ought to let our “yes be yes" and our “no be no.” But that is about commitment, which often involves a messy process of moving through the mountains and valleys. It does not mean that a person will fail along the way or may be tempted.
People, in this route of idealism, will be frustrated that their path is not simple - and they will be frustrated with people (sometimes justifiable) that make things over-complicated. Often the idealist will accuse people too quickly of hypocrisy, judging those who are simply doing their best, but are imperfect along the process of growth. These people might have a high expectation for themselves and others - and it becomes a bit reminiscent of the two heresies Pelagianism and Jansenism.
Solution - Interpersonal Relationships
In my experience, as one who falls victim to this idealism from time to time, getting to know the very real circumstances of other’s lives helps us to avoid this type of idealism. I’ve had the chance to meet people who very stressful, complicated circumstances, looking for a simple solution to a problem that might never be solved in this life. The Church offers us simple principles, but its the “application” of these principles to the concrete circumstances and individual nature of each person that makes it so sadly complicated. This is why God often is so patient with us. Unlike the angels who simply make a pure choice for God, or a pure choice against God, we are much more complicated.
In the psychology of “family systems” there is a healthy approach to examining the spirit in “parts” wherefore a person’s heart and mind can be pulled, simultaneously in different directions. The dissonance and contradiction of this is often not apparent to the person, but the inconsistency (often read as hypocrisy) is often apparent to others. For this reason Jesus encourages us to examine the Log in our own eye first. He isn’t tell us to avoid pulling out the speck in our neighbours eye - especially if it helps them. Rather, he wants us to have some compassion as we do such work. If we can understand our own interior inconsistencies and to be patient with our interior fragmentation, we can do the same for others.
One of the worst experiences is when someone tells you to simplify your life, to be more consistent, when they do not appreciate how complicated things really are. Do they know about trauma, do they understand familial dysfunction, do they understand the nature of addiction, or how complicated depression can be. Have they experienced learning disabilities, have they suffered the same way? Do they have a different personality? Person’s are not easy to simplify, so demanding simplicity from them without a process, without patience, and without interpersonal-knowledge is cruel and embarrassingly ignorant.
What is real Hypocrisy?
Idealism is often a coping-mechanism for some personality types. INFP, or INFJ personalities are often idealistic and values-driven. In these personalities we find a refreshing desire to aim towards integration, and simplicity. These are not bad aims - yet they need to be understood as only visionary, and not pragmatic. That is to say, one needs to develop a process of change. For some, this type of idealism can prevent the person from even beginning a process. A type of “freezing” can take place, whereby we won’t even begin or attempt to begin something without first having certainty, and pure motives, lest we accuse ourselves of hypocrisy.
Real hypocrisy is not the same as an imperfect person striving for growth. We might be too quick not not accept that people are a mixture of good and evil motives - we might think they ought to be simpler. Fine - but in a fallen world that is not realistic. Real hypocrisy is not the same as inconsistency - rather it is when a person is content with inconsistency. Pope Francis gave a good distinction where he explained that there is a difference between a sinner and a corrupt person. In that distinction he clarifies that a sinner (all of us) is imperfect and fails, but gets back up and tries again, seeking mercy, and admitting of our faults. Sometimes we even fail to admit of our faults because of embarrassment, or fear of judgment. A corrupt person simply does not care - and is content with inconsistency typically out of entitlement.
The Idealist Often Projects
A person who sees hypocrisy too quickly is a person who judges too quickly. This might happen due to a wound, typically in betrayal. Christ, the perfect man, offers us a different disposition - he has no coping mechanisms. He is able to look at each particular person with their own distinctiveness - something we are called to do. But when we carry the weight of betrayal or distrust into our relationships with others, we anticipate and warp our interpretation of their own behavior, and this is what we mean by judgmental. We take it upon ourselves to declare that such a person is not trying, but struggling, but rather we judge them simply to “not care at all.” This gives us the feeling of validation - and that is why judgment is so attractive.
The Way Out: Meekness
Meekness is a discipline of the mind that can apprehend our own complexity and see it as a possibility in the other. It is not quick to anger, to judge, but rather is able to peacefully see the same root of sin in ourselves that may be in another. Also, it may be able to even see why a person has offended us and entertain the possibility that we are in the wrong - instead of them. And to be meek, this movement of the mind isn’t forced, or a mere pretense, it is genuine.
The good of Idealism
It is good to not overcomplicate matters, and an idealist rages against this. Sometimes overcomplicating matters simply becomes a means to avoid saying the tough truths. Catholics avoid the fundamentalism of over-simplicity that ignores complicated circumstances and life-situations, but we also avoid overly complex matters. This is why the Church does have some very clear statements about the difference between right and wrong. We distinguish between those things that are “intrinsically evil” for instance - which means they are wrong in every circumstance (i.e. the wisdom given to us by God in the 10 commandments). The idealism holds to these simple truths, and hopefully in the right spirit - and does not allow an over-complex rationalism to enable ambiguity that also placates responsibility.
Anxiety in Idealism
One of the challenging dimensions in various anxiety disorders is learning how to live in a state of uncertainty. The Church often challenges issues such as scrupulosity, not because they are mental health states, but rather because they twist our approach to the spiritual life. They suggest that we have to have everything clear and direct, even when it is not reasonable. This spiritually thrusts us away from surrendering to God, and giving Him the benefit of the doubt that He will take care of us, in what is ultimately good. We want certainty before we surrender, which ultimately does not permit our soul to move towards trusting in God - rather it is still seating our actions to trusting our own judgment - even trumping God (practically - that is by virtue of our action).
A Prayer
God grant us who are struggling with patience, judgment, and deep frustration with a new type of peace. A peace that comes from meditating upon your own simplicity, your own goodness, and how you have a plan I do not quite yet understand. Help me to see those who are inconsistent, struggling with sin of their own, as you see them. Help me to know what I do not know about them, and myself. Help me to let go of my need to understand everything, and instead trust in you, and to do so like a little child, who knows His Father is good. I ask this through your Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
