The Meaning of the Kiss
The Song of Songs as healing for betrayal
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” Song of Songs 1:2
“He approached Jesus to kiss him; but Jesus said to him, ‘Judas, is it with a kiss that you are betraying the Son of Man?’” Luke 22:48
A kiss is an act of peace, communion, affection, and love but a kiss can be a lie. Judas’ kiss was an act of betrayal, violence, and deception. I, like my Bridegroom, have also been betrayed by a kiss. Once betrayed by a friend’s acts of affection, the vocabulary of intimacy becomes a painful reminder and the thought of being vulnerable and intimate again is frightening.
My past trauma caused the opening verse of the Song of Songs to be a stumbling block, an obstacle to entering into Jesus’ love song and the healing He desired for me.
The erotic language and sexual images of the Song are what caused my visceral reaction to this sacred poem for so many years. No matter how I tried to convince myself that the Word of God is always holy and always meant to heal us and lead us into a deeper relationship with Jesus, I just could not stomach the Song. My experience in working with women who have been violated by men, especially their spouses, has shown that I am not alone in being triggered by the Song of Songs. I have met women who, just like me, have avoided the Song of Songs and were offended when it was read as part of the Liturgy. “Why is this erotic poetry allowed in the Bible?” “The Song of Songs is soft porn and makes my skin crawl.” “I can’t hear the Song of Songs without remembering being sexually abused. Why would I read it?”
These questions and fears deserve an answer and the truth lies in the Hebrew translation of the very first verse, “The Song of Songs which is Solomon’s” and the meaning of the Hebrew word used for the “kiss”.
The first verse of the Song of Songs is its title, “The Song of Songs which is Solomon’s”. This may seem insignificant and not worth spending time pondering but for those of us who have been betrayed by a kiss understanding this first verse before moving on is of the utmost importance. Many Bible commentators skip over the title assuming that what is important is the fact that the Song is attributed to Solomon and, therefore, worthy of acceptance in the canon of Scripture. Although the purpose of this article is not a scholarly commentary on the history and meaning of the Song of Songs, I want to share a taste of what I have learned in my research because this knowledge facilitated my healing.
As I investigated the meaning of the original Hebrew words and read Jewish commentaries, I understood that the Bride and Bridegroom of the Song were describing not physical intimacy but divine intimacy. Saint Gregory the Great wrote in his explanation of the Song of Songs, “It is through the language of this love that we learn how strongly we must burn with divine love.”