There are Catholics who are converts to the Faith, and are the only ones in their family who are Catholic. It is not something they talk about openly because it is so deeply personal. Some of them quietly slip out of the house early in the morning to make it to Mass, and others tell their families that they are “meeting friends” when they are really spending time in Adoration or attending a parish function. There are moments when they hold back from sharing their joy about the Rosary, the saints, or their love for the Eucharist because they know it would invite a sharp comment, a debate, or even an argument from Protestant family members that would leave their hearts heavy.
Sometimes the hurt is subtle, like sarcastic remarks or cold silences, and sometimes even more direct such as prohibiting any sign of Catholicism in the house, such as hanging upon the wall a crucifix or an image of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Other times it is being accused of idolatry or being told they are not “true Christians.” For many individuals, the deepest wound is that this rejection comes not from the stranger he or she encounters, but from the very people they hold most dear to their hearts.
Often, parents and relatives simply do not understand. Many of them have been taught their whole lives by their Protestant minister that the Catholic Church is full of errors. They may believe Catholics worship Mary, have abandoned Scripture, or are trying to earn their salvation. So when the Catholic faith is embraced more fully, they see it as a betrayal rather than as the sincere response of a soul longing for the fullness of truth. For those who choose to enter the Church, it is never about rejecting their families. It is about finding what their hearts have been searching for all along.
This is a heavy cross to carry, but it is one that Christ Himself understands. In the Gospel of Matthew, He told us that a person’s enemies may even be members of their own household, and that whoever loves father or mother more than Him is not worthy of Him. These words are not meant to push Catholics away from their families but to remind us that following Him will sometimes cost us the approval or understanding of those we love most.
There are Saints who have walked this difficult path. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton was rejected by her Protestant relatives when she became a member of the Catholic Church. St. Francis de Sales endured anger and even threats from his family because they saw Catholicism as a dangerous faith. Their lives remind us that when we choose to remain faithful in love and patience, our suffering is never wasted. God uses it in ways we cannot always see in the present moment.
Despite the hidden struggles, we must always remember that we are never left alone. God sees every quiet act of devotion, every whispered prayer, and every tear that flows down one’s face in silence. He knows the courage it takes to keep practicing the Faith when it feels like there is no choice but to do it in secret. Finding a community of Catholics, whether at the local parish, in a Bible study group, or even through an online prayer thread, can help us remember that we are not on our own. Others are carrying this same cross too, and together can encourage one another to stay faithful.
One of the most powerful things a Catholic can do is to pray for their Protestant families. It can be tempting to argue or to try to force them to understand, but often what changes hearts is not debate but quiet witness. When they see the peace and joy that come from living an active faith, when they see love offered to them with patience and kindness even when they reject the faith, they may one day grow curious. It is God who softens hearts, but a steady example can plant the seeds that one day blossom into the desire to enter into the one, true Faith. But they key is that everything is in God’s timing, and sometimes that is not during our lifetime.
To be Catholic in a home that rejects Catholicism due to Protestant fervor, is white martyrdom. It calls for a quiet courage and a deep trust that Christ sees and He values every act of fidelity, even the ones no one else notices. And in those hidden moments of suffering, there is a drawing ever so closer to the Sacred Heart, where one can find the strength to love God and to love his or her family without compromising either.
My husband is a convert since the Easter Vigil 2011. He is on fire for our One True Faith of Jesus Christ, Himself. None of his family has become Catholic, however, his son married a Catholic girl and so we are praying and hopeful! +JMJ+
I'm the only Catholic in my family and it was very hard when I converted - some really unpleasant things were said which surprised me as I had no idea that so many people had such negative views of Catholics. It's not like that now, many years later. I'm still one of those who quietly slips out to Mass, though, not advertising it. I pray a decade of the rosary most days for my family members, living and dead, it seems the best thing I can do.