I struggle with hubris.  I think the works I am going to do are important and I can merit the attention of God.  If I just pray this many rosaries, if I give this amount of money to a local charity, or if I do so many good deeds today then God will be impressed by my deeds.  The more these vain thoughts occupy the space of my mind, the less I hear the still small voice speaking within.  I place my own self-importance in place of the Lord’s own voice.  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways.” Isaiah 55:8

When I recalibrate my heart to the Lord in silent prayer, I can silence all my previous thoughts. I can let go of my own vain attempts at living in God’s life.  I can listen to his words.   A new inner dialogue begins, “love one another.” 

Lord, love is such a common place word.  I love my dog.  I love pizza.  I love my bike.  Besides, every time I have gone to a religious event, all they talk about is love.  It seems redundant. 

But the Lord gently reminds me, “love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” 

Lord, are you telling me that I have to die?  Lord, this seems lonely.  It seems as if there may be rejection involved.  It seems that I may suffer.  Pain is hard for me. 

The Lord then reminds me, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.”

At this moment, I realize my childish stubbornness.  I realize I am not really allowing myself to hear the Lord. I stop and I pray asking the Lord to transform my will and understanding.  I begin asking for the grace to love as God loves. 

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