Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.”

Luke 10:40

For those of us who have loved ones who are not Catholic, we often assume by their words, actions, or lifestyle that they have no interest in the Church or serving our Lord. We may even assume that we are doing it right and they are doing it wrong. But we never know what is going on in someone’s head or heart.

In today’s gospel, Jesus visits a pair of sisters named Martha and Mary. The scene opens where Martha “welcomes” Jesus in while Mary precedes to simply sit beside the Lord and listen to him. This makes Martha unhappy, and she complains to the Lord that Mary is not doing anything while she is running around doing everything. My guess is that Martha expected Jesus to tell her how wonderful and faithful she was or how great it was that she was always serving. But that is not the case. Instead, Jesus told her that her sister Mary had chosen more wisely.

The notion that busyness in the church equates to holiness is a falsehood. Just as the thought that someone who goes to mass every day is closer to Jesus than someone who has been away from the church for a long time. The Church, in fact, is constantly telling us that our walk is our own. We do not know what is in someone else’s heart.

Stop focusing on your loved one who is not in the pew or serving beside you and focus on your own walk with Christ. Instead, give that person to Jesus and place them at his feet so that they too can listen to him speak. You can do that through prayer, carrying them with you in your heart to mass, and lighting a candle. But once you do that, really leave them there at the feet of Christ. Then you too will choose the better part.