Cherish No Grudge!

A Reflection on this Friday’s Gospel (Mark 6:14-29) - 7 February 2025

In Mark’s Gospel today, we hear of the murder of St John the Baptist. St John’s death was not a simple killing or execution. It was murder; the premeditated killing of one person by another with malice. St John the Baptist’s death is not brought about through any form of judicial proceeding, even a farcical proceeding such as that of Jesus. St John the Baptist is murdered at Herodias’ request to satisfy a grudge she held against him for denouncing her marriage to Herod Antipas as sinful. Herodias was first the wife of Herod’s half-brother whom she divorced to marry Herod Antipas, a union prohibited by the Law. (Leviticus 18:16)

Unfortunately, grudges are a part of our concupiscent nature. It is that persistent feeling of ill will or resentment held by one person against another as the result of a perceived injury or insult. In Greek, the word for grudge (ἐνέχω) is synonymous with “ensnare” or “entangle.” A grudge is like a snare baited with a slow acting poison that gradually strangles love. Herodias, trapped by her anger and pride, is led to murder and she drags her entire family into the trap. Ignatius rightfully names the bearing of a grudge the devil’s snare. (Ignatuis 8) It is Satan who baits the snare; but it is we who step into the trap. Doing this, trapped by a refusal to forgive, we can do terrible things.

Several years ago, I had a friend who refused to forgive his mother who remarried after his father’s death. He harbored a grudge against her. Like a broken record, every time he spoke to his mother anger welled up to the extent that he hit back. He cut off all contact between himself, his family, and his mother. Seeking reconciliation, his mother would send birthday and Christmas cards and gifts. He would send them back. His sister sought to mediate the grudge but when she did, he flew into a rage and severed all ties with her. His family life became a battlefield.

Bitterness consumed my friend. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. It had the opposite effect. The grudge destroyed love even within his own family who resented their estrangement from their grandmother. The grudge made no sense to them and stood in the way of love.

It is easy for us, hurt by the actions of others, real or perceived, intentional or unintentional, even by those we profess to love, to hang onto a grudge, refusing to forgive. Why? We often see forgiveness as capitulation. Yet, forgiving does not mean forgetting. It is making a choice to move forward in love, just as Christ forgives us. The intentional “setting aside” of whatever keeps us from love paves the way for healing and interior peace. A grudge is like a towering wall that we erect which blocks out God in our lives. Forgiveness tunnels through that wall such that Love breaks through.

Our faith calls us to let go of grudges and forgive; to love. St Paul writes that; love “does not brood over injury.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NABRE) He calls us to put on,

“… heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another … as the Lord has forgiven you … to put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.” (Colossians 3:12–14 NABRE)

We live in a world dominated by grudges and taking revenge. Some may call it justice, but it is more often about a grudge like that of Herodias than about justice. It is often physically and spiritually murderous. That is not as Christ calls us to live. He calls us to love our enemies. (Luke 6:27) Again, from St Paul,

“Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NABRE)

How do we defeat the need to hang onto a grudge towards others? We decrease! St John the Baptist said that he must decrease so that Christ may increase. (John 3:30) Holding a grudge? Decrease! Kneel before a crucifix. Look up. See the innocent Son of God nailed to the cross. This is the ultimate injustice. What does Jesus do? He does not harbor a grudge. Instead, He forgives His persecutors, us, with a generous heart. Meditate on that, and your own sense of being treated unjustly. Let go of the grudge and forgive as Christ forgives us. Let that poisonous grudge, the devil’s trap, decrease and simply fade away. Love!

“Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against your own people. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:18 NABRE)

In the words of today’s Gospel Antiphon, “Blessed are they who have kept the word with a generous heart and yield a harvest through perseverance.” (Luke 8:15)

Endnotes:

Ignatius of Antioch. “The Epistle of Ignatius to the Trallians.” The Apostolic Fathers with Justin Martyr and Irenaeus. Ed. Alexander Roberts, James Donaldson, and A. Cleveland Coxe. Vol. 1. Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Company, 1885. 66. Print. The Ante-Nicene Fathers.